A broken heart can't be fixed
by JisbonTiva97
Summary: What can you do if someone you love leaves you alone? Tonys life after Ziva. (After 11x02)
1. His heart is broken

I'm not a native english speaker, I'm from Germany so please excuse my mistakes. :)

A few days After Tony had arrived in D.C. Abby just wanted to hear Zivas voice and so she called her on her mobile phone. Abby knew that Ziva wouldn't talk to anybody, but she missed her best friend so much. And Abby was right, Zivas mobile phone wasn't even on.

So she thought of any other possibility to communicate with Ziva. Sometimes they had used a chatroom, when Ziva had been under cover, but they haven't used it for a very long time.

Despite her doubts, Ziva wouldn't even notice if she sent her a message, Abby logged in and started a chat.

A: "Ziva, I know that you don't wanna talk, but listen to what I have to say (or just read it ;)) I still hope every day that you'll come home and I won't give up my hopes. Please reply to this to show that I still matter to you. We all miss you. Abby"

Abby thought about Tony, he'd looked so desperated when he got home from Israel. They've all hoped that he could have convince Ziva to come back and that they could be a family again. But she didn't come back. Tony wasn't the same when he got back. He'd been absent and contemplative and Abby knew he had let go the girl he loves and cares the most about.

A couple of minutes later Abbys computer made a sound. A new message!

Z: "Hey Abby, I miss you all, too. But I can't come back. Sorry. And you do matter to me :)."

A: "Ziva! Oh I'm glade you don't ignore me. Dont get me wrong but I don't get it, why can't you come home? Tony's been not good since he came here, he needs you. We need you."

Z: "I would never ignore my friend. Honestely, I can't tell why. I don't know. But I do know that I have to stay here, at least for a while. I have to get myself clear."

A: "Do you know you broke Tonys heart?"

For a few minutes Ziva didn't write anything.

Z: "Yes. And I'm truly sorry."

A: "Then why did you do it?"

Z: "Idk... im sorry I can't give you the answers you want."

A: "Ok, as you don't know why you did it I'll tell you what exactly you did. Tony's going to hell when you're not with him. He's in so much pain. He needs you to stay alive. Tony would do anything for you. He would die for you. A broken heart can't be fixed."


	2. What to do next

Zivas view:

Ziva didn't know what to write and so she just ended the conversation. Abby would be disappointed but Ziva needed to think.

Abby was right, she did broke his heart but they were both not good at serious relationships and still there is Gibbs rule no. 12, Ziva thought. She couldn't just go back to NCIS and live on, Tony and her wouldn't make it. They would continue to hide their feelings and Gibbs would not change his rules for them so none of them would be happy. Happiness, a feeling she'd felt the last time when Tony had found her here in Israel. But that had changed fast.

Ziva really didn't know what to do next but she knew she had to stay away from NCIS, Tony and her whole "American family". So she left the house she lived in with Tony the weeks after he had met her and went to the plantation where she buried the box with her new list.

When she was standing at the place she had has the conversation with Tony all the memories came back. Tony begging her to come back with him, how he gently kissed her hand and how close they were when he told her that he was fighting for her.

Ziva knelt down and started to pray. For her peace, for Tony, and for all the others she loved.

She just wanted everything to become as it was a few months ago, when she and Tony were just good friends, or maybe a little bit more, but when it wasn't that complicated, and when she was happy with her life, when she thought she had found her passion in working for NCIS. But Ziva knew that nothing would ever become like that again.


	3. Everything goes on but without any sense

Back in D.C. Tony had immediately spoken to Gibbs and had asked him what to do now. Gibbs didn't had an answer but he'd told him that it wouldn't make any sense if Tony quit his job and tried to convince Ziva to come back if she doesn't want to.

So Tony just did his work as usual but he strictly avoided Abby because he knew that she would want to talk about Zivas decision to stay in Tel Aviv and he just wanted to ignore it, otherwise he would clearly fall into a deep depression when he would thought about Zivas absence. Tony knew he couldn't forget Ziva in a million years.

He was sitting at his desk and drying to concentrate on his work when he heard the director call his name "Agent DiNozzo, I'd like to talk to you in my office. Now." Tony looked quickly at McGee, stood up and went upstairs to the directors office. Without knocking he entered the room.

"I know she's quit her job here, but please explain to me why agent David has decided to stay in Israel."

All of Tonys efforts to ignore this were for nothing and all the memories came back.

"I don't know", he could only whisper. "She wanted to start over and to leave her old life behind her, I think."

Director Vance didn't made any impression that he would be satisfied with this answer. "We all respect her decision but please tell me that she's not a agent for Mossad again."

Tony hadn't expected that "Uhm, n-no I don't think so." If Ziva really went back to Mossad she became a cold killer again and would leave all her values she learned in America behind her.

"I hope so, too. But we can't afford to lose one of our best agents to Mossad. I want you to stay I contact with her and to make sure she's ok and that she's not forced to face her old life and become like that again."

Stay in contact with her, this sentence made Tony smile a bit but at the same moment he realised that so he would always be reminded of their last moments together at the airport a few weeks ago and the pain he felt when he entered that plane without her. Tony didn't know if it was a good thing to stay in contact with Ziva. Of course, he wanted to write or call her a million times but as often as he wanted to do this, he didn't do it because he learned to say to himself he had to move on and it would make no sense to stay in contact.

After Tony had realised that he had to live without Ziva from now on, he had that special feeling and he knew that feeling. He had felt the same way after they had been told that the ship Ziva was on, had sunk. It was the same now, everything went on but without any sense.

"Ok", Tony didn't know what say else. He couldn't say if he was happy about the directors order. And without another word, he left the office.

"What did he say?", McGee seemed very courious.

"He wants me to stay in contact with Ziva because he's afraid she goes back to Mossad."

"Ok... And how do you think you will manage this without her knowing that Vance wants to observate her?"

"I have absolutely no idea." Tony didn't want to talk about it and he was relieved when Gibbs said: "Grab your gear!" and he had to concentrate on their new case.


End file.
